For Abington’s Charles Marcelonis, daily life has always revolved around managing anxiety and depression.
Nevertheless, the now 34-year-old lived independently and worked odd jobs – not the career he aspires to, but still an income.
Then, about four years ago, his mother died. The trauma turned his life upside down and threatened to undo years of hard-won progress.
“I actually just started delegating,” Marcelonis said.
He moved in with his father and grandparents.
Marcelonis describes a 45-minute countdown clock that would start ticking as soon as he left the privacy of his home. When it ended, panic set in and his breathing accelerated to the point where he could no longer speak.
Fortunately, he found safe haven and mentorship at Discovery Day, a group therapy program run by Aspire Health Alliance in Braintree. Aspire is one of three agencies for which The Patriot Ledger’s Lend a Hand campaign is raising money.
There, with the help of colleagues and doctors, Marcelonis developed deep insights into his own mental processes and new social skills that allow him to interact confidently with the public and even charm this reporter with his humor and optimism.
Charles Marcelonis, 34, of Abington, is dealing with the loss of his mother.
Paradoxically, Marcelonis discovered new reserves of inner strength through what he described as the most difficult thing he had ever experienced: the death of his mother and the devastating grief that followed.
“I was in my grief,” he said. “I finally found my strength.”
Although Marcelonis still has to travel further, the combination of suffering and therapy has awakened an emotional sensitivity in him. For example, this is what he says about sadness, a feeling that weighs heaviest on the heart around the holidays:
“Sadness is love that can’t go anywhere. It’s just our love that’s inside of us. Sadness isn’t necessarily something to be afraid of, no matter how painful it can be.”
It took Marcelonis time, more than three years, to reach this point of self-knowledge. Before participating in Discovery Day, just a trip to the grocery store could cause paralyzing anxiety. He said he would imagine others staring at him and judging him.
While these feelings still surface, he says he’s learned to recognize them as “cognitive distortions” and rationally analyze what consumers are likely thinking about at the grocery store.
“I’m thinking to myself, Joe, down the aisle, looks kind of busy looking at his can of SpaghettiOs,” he said. ‘I wonder if he has time to think about me. Joe across the aisle has other things to think about.”
Recently, Marcelonis put his progress to the test when he volunteered for a holiday craft fair, where Discovery Day customers marketed their artwork to family, friends and members of the public.
“I was even chatting with people when they came to get their cookies and hot chocolate,” Marcelonis said. “You know, about three, three and a half years ago, I would have been the person standing stiff as a board in the corner, way too anxious to even say, ‘Hi, what do you want?'”
And what does Marcelonis want? Pursuing a career in mental health, he says, requires education and a return to the workforce to finance his dream.
In fact, he’s already helping others. He concluded the interview with Patriot Ledger with these words of advice to the countless people – our friends, neighbors and family members – who suffer every day from serious but perhaps unrecognized mental health issues:
“It’s never too late to seek support. It’s not a weakness to seek support either. In fact, it’s a sign of strength.”
Your donation to Lend a Hand can help people like Marcelonis.
Who will lend a hand?
Lend a Hand was founded by Chazy Dowaliby, who passed away in 2019. Dowaliby, who became a well-known South Shore figure during her decades at the helm of the Ledger, was named editor-in-chief of the paper in 1998 and launched the Lend a Hand program. in her first year. Since then, Lend a Hand has raised millions from reader donations.
Donations to Lend a Hand help fund the social service programs and resources for the three partner organizations: the South Shore Community Action Council, Quincy Community Action Programs Inc. and Aspire Health Alliance. Lend a Hand only accepts monetary donations, which go to the agencies.
Aspire Health Alliance serves Boston, the South Shore and Southeastern Massachusetts by offering mental health programs and services for children, teens and adults, as well as services for children with developmental disabilities through an early intervention program. The agency is also the regional provider of 24/7 crisis intervention services.
South Shore Community Action Council is a Plymouth-based nonprofit organization serving low-income families and individuals on the South Shore through food assistance programs, child care and other social services.
Quincy Community Action Programs is a Quincy-based organization that helps individuals and families achieve financial stability through educational programs, early childhood education, and heating and utility assistance, and by helping to put food on the table through the QCAP Food Center .
Lend a Hand donations range from thousands of dollars each year to small $10 or $15 checks to coins from a child’s savings. It all adds up.
How to donate to Lend a Hand
Donating is easy.
Many will find using PayPal easiest. You can donate securely online via PayPal. All credit cards are accepted and you do not need a PayPal account. Search: PayPal Lend a Hand Foundation. The direct address is www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=F5JAG5WWMYS5A.
Another way to donate is to clip the coupon from the print edition of The Patriot Ledger or from this story. You can send a check or money order. Don’t have the discount coupon? Just send us a piece of paper with this information:
Your name, address, telephone number, amount of the contribution, who the donation comes from and whether this donation is anonymous and whether you want to donate in honor or memory of someone. Please note: your address and telephone number are not for publication, but are intended to contact you if we have any questions.
Donations by post go to:
The Patriot Ledger
3 Webster Square PMB #467
Marshfield, MA 02050
If you have any questions about The Patriot Ledger’s Lend a Hand campaign, please email newsroom@patriotledger.com and put “Lend a Hand 2024” in the subject line.
And most of all, thank you for your generosity and continued support of Lend a Hand.
Thank you to our subscribers who help make this coverage possible. If you are not a subscriber, please consider supporting quality local journalism with a Patriot Ledger subscription. Here is our latest offering.
Reach Peter Blandino at pblandino@patriotledger.com.
This article originally appeared in The Patriot Ledger: Lend a Hand Charles Marcelonis discovers strength in grief
