Each week of the NFL season brings a host of new questions… and answers some old ones, too. Let’s recap what we learned in week 6… and what we’ll be wondering about in week 7 and beyond.
QUESTION: Is it possible to get a worse birthday present for Jerry Jones?
What do you give a football plutocrat for his 82nd birthday? Well, if you’re the Dallas Cowboys, you scoop up a big steaming pile of dog poop, put it in an old pizza box, wrap it in a silver-blue ribbon and throw it right in front of his front door. That’s exactly what the Cowboys did for Jerry Jones on Sunday, losing to the Detroit Lions in a 47-9 debacle that somehow wasn’t even that close. The Cowboys have the highest-paid player and the broadest, most committed fan base in the league, and they still aren’t able to put a respectable product on the field week in, week out, year in, year out. Half the league literally has no memory of the Cowboys’ last Super Bowl win because it happened before they were born.
But before we go too far into the “look how those awful cowboys treated poor old Jerruh!”, well – who hired these guys? Who signs his checks? Jones has insisted for years that he is in “win now” mode, and yet it is clear that the people in the building are not winning right now. Jones doesn’t have the patience for a total rebuild, and with the money he could spend, he shouldn’t. The problem is that pointing fingers is easy; implementing the necessary changes is very difficult. The reasons for Dallas’ troubles are many and varied, but it all starts with Jones – and that’s where it ends.
Put another way, if even the Detroit Lions are fooling you, it’s time to rethink your entire worldview.
ANSWER: Welp, so much for the saints
Hey, remember that Week 2 when everyone — — said the Saints’ Klint Kubiak-led offense revolutionized the game and was a surefire bet well into January? Yeah, that was a fun week, wasn’t it? It turns out that anyone can overachieve in any given week in the NFL. The Saints started rookie Spencer Rattler Sunday and lost stud receiver Chris Olave on his very first reception, but that’s not enough to excuse the total drubbing — 51-27 — the Bucs handed out to New Orleans on Sunday. The Saints didn’t score until the second quarter and couldn’t stop Tampa Bay at all. When you specify series of 17 And 27 consecutive points, something is definitely wrong.
Between the Bucs and Falcons in their own division, and the four-headed beast that is the NFC North, there isn’t much room in the postseason for New Orleans right now. Oh well. It was fun for the saints to dream for a week.
QUESTION: How far can the Packers go?
I have a feeling we’ll spend the entire season discussing the monster that is the NFC North, the most successful division from top to bottom at this point in the season in decades. Detroit, Minnesota, Chicago, Green Bay – would you play any of these teams right now? Rationalizations for relegating the division — Minnesota is smoke-and-mirrors, the league is going to figure out Caleb Wiliams, Detroit is going Detroit — are just that.
Still, the best bet for the division crown right now feels like the Packers, thanks to the combination of a healed Jordan Love, a deep and young roster, and a strong coaching/front office infrastructure. Nearly tripling the chippy Cardinals Sunday is another achievement in what is shaping up to be a season for them. We’re already looking ahead to Week 9 when the Lions head to Green Bay. That will be fun.
ANSWER: The Titans are screwed
Ever had a breakup and immediately saw your ex living an objectively better life? A bit stupid, isn’t it? That’s where Tennessee is suffering right now, watching Derrick Henry thrive in Baltimore while the Titans struggle through a 1-4 start to the season. Tennessee’s only win came two weeks ago against the Tua-less Dolphins, and there are few signs this team could compete in the SEC, let alone the AFC South. In Sunday’s loss to Indianapolis, Will Levis threw for 95 yards — no, there’s not a number missing from the front of that number — and the lone bright spot on offense was Tony Pollard, who ran for 93 yards and a touchdown. Calvin Ridley, but maybe he’s taking the wrong approach here; if you don’t appear in the box score, you can simply deny that you were ever associated with this garbage fire.
QUESTION: Is there a worse feeling than a touchdown nullified by a flag?
In the midst of Sunday’s loss, the Lions decided to get fancy and executed a lateral to tackle Penei Sewell. How many times does a tackle get the chance to score a touchdown? Almost never! And yet, look here:
Unfortunately, the touchdown (or near-touchdown, his knee was probably down) was called back due to an ineligible man “downfield” – as in, more than a yard past the line of scrimmage. The flag wipes the touchdown off the board.
This was of course not unique to this week. Every week you see beautiful long passing plays or spectacular touchdowns negated by the tackiest of rules: a holding call far away from the action, an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty for a bit of jaw-dropping.
Of course, the rules are the rules; for example, sometimes that grip is the result of breaking open the piece. But if the punishment does not fit the crime, it is aesthetically unpleasant. Although I love it when the cameras stay focused on the player who, say, just busted a 75-yard touchdown run, only to see it get called back when a burly teammate swats an uninvolved defender 75 yards away . Keeping true feelings in check in those moments requires Oscar-level acting.
Just one more reason why the NFL would take my “yes, it was illegal, but it looked cool so we’ll allow it” determination to set aside a flag.
ANSWERED: Washington shows there is life after bad ownership
The Washington football franchise spent a quarter century in ownership hell, with fans and players alike suffering under Daniel Snyder’s erratic, arrogant regime, which placed the blame for generational failure everywhere but where it really belonged. Snyder is now out the door, and wouldn’t you know it, Washington is suddenly a resurgent franchise. Granted, there’s still a long way to go before Washington returns to the perennially competitive days of Joe Gibbs, John Riggins and the Hogs, but this franchise has already come a long way in just a handful of post-Snyder games. Sunday’s loss to Baltimore in the I-95 Bowl was tough but not unexpected, and Washington put in a better effort this year than at any other time in the 2000s. There is genuine excitement about this franchise, and no one in Burgundy is asking. wonder how ownership will embarrass them next.
See, Carolina? There is still hope for you.
QUESTION: Are the Bengals a good team with a bad streak, or a bad team with occasional good moments?
Here’s what we saw in Sunday Night’s Bengals-Giants game: a Cincinnati team that was talented and opportunistic and took advantage of their opponent’s mistakes to ruin the game… and also a team that gave the damn New York Giants only managed to shake off two minutes of the game in the final. The Bengals are 2-4, but it seems like they should be so much better than that. If you have a QB-receiver combination that can do this:
…you should win more than just two games in the first third of the season. The Bengals have a pulse, but they wouldn’t have if they had forgone Sunday night’s game. That is the sharp edge they will have to deal with in the coming weeks.
ANSWER: The Jaguars should just change their name and stay in Europe
Jacksonville is in the midst of back-to-back games in London, which started with a miserable loss to Chicago on Sunday and concludes next week with a fierce pillow fight against New England. It’s even questionable whether owner Shad Khan will even bother to send a plane to bring them back to America afterwards. Suggestion for the Jags: Lead the way. Go full Cold War spying – get a fake passport, change your name, disappear to Europe and make the world forget you ever existed. This will make it easier for everyone.
