It’s not even noon on a Wednesday and my daughter is already texting me about more threats her school has received, following the one she received the day before. I’ve gotten calls and emails from the school saying they’re addressing the situation, and even messages from her sports team trying to calm rumors about what happened to the suspect. I’ve seen this rodeo several times over the years: schools become chaotic, parents rush to pick up their kids, and the whole situation becomes a whirlwind of fear and confusion.
We are stationed in Ft. Leavenworth and the local high school, like many schools across the country, has received several threats to school safety. Because high school students attend schools off base, there are some events where our children experience real situations that they may not be used to, having grown up on a military base.
As parents, our instinct is to protect our children, but we also need to remain rational and help them deal with these situations in a healthy way. This is where emotional management becomes crucial. I can’t ignore or push aside my daughter’s fears; I have to acknowledge her feelings and guide her through them, showing her how to navigate these difficult moments.
One thing I said to my daughter today when she told me she was scared because of these threats was, “I understand that you’re scared, but let’s take some steps that can help. You can take a break from social media, stay aware of your surroundings, trust that those in charge will keep you safe, and of course, pray.” Giving her a way to manage her emotions and helping her focus on what she can control makes a huge difference.
The power of cognitive reframing
While we don’t want to ignore the reality of these threats, we do need to equip our children with tools to manage their emotions. Licensed therapist Brittany Harrison, LPC, suggests cognitive reframing to help children transform negative thoughts into positive ones. Cognitive reframing allows us to challenge harmful or fearful thoughts and replace them with more constructive, hopeful thoughts.
For example, if your child feels unsafe at school, encourage him or her to rethink his or her thoughts. Instead of focusing on fear, he or she could say, “I am safe now because my school and the authorities are doing everything they can to protect me.” This doesn’t erase the reality of the situation, but it does help shift the mindset from fear to one that emphasizes safety and proactive safety measures.
Tips to Help Your Child Cope with Anxiety
As parents, our role in helping our children manage the stress and anxiety caused by these threats cannot be underestimated. Here are some strategies to guide your conversations and provide emotional support:
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Open the dialogue: Start by creating a safe space for your child to express their concerns. Ask them how they feel about the situation and listen without judgment. Acknowledge their feelings of fear or anxiety, as ignoring them can make the emotions feel more overwhelming.
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Encourage positive thinking: Help your child identify and challenge negative thoughts. For example, if they are afraid that something bad will happen at school, guide them to think about the safety protocols in place and the steps their school is taking to keep them safe.
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Learn relaxation techniques: Encourage your child to practice deep breathing, mindfulness, or prayer when they are feeling anxious. Simple breathing exercises such as inhaling slowly for a count of four and exhaling for a count of four can help calm their nervous system.
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Empower them with actions: Give your child tools to feel more empowered in their environment. Remind them to be aware of their surroundings, follow safety drills, and report anything suspicious. While these actions won’t eliminate fear, they will help students feel more in control.
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Focus on faith: For families like mine, faith plays a vital role in coping with stress. I always remind my daughter to lean on her faith during difficult times, and encourage her to pray for protection and peace. It can be comforting to let your child know that they are protected by a higher power, especially during times of uncertainty.
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Monitor their exposure: With so much information available on social media, it’s important to monitor what your child is exposed to. While it’s good for them to be informed, excessive consumption of threatening news can exacerbate anxiety. Help them set boundaries around their social media use when it comes to these sensitive topics.
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Seek professional help if necessary: If your child’s anxiety becomes overwhelming or begins to interfere with his or her daily functioning, consider seeking professional help. Licensed therapists like Harrison can provide valuable emotional regulation tools that help children process and reframe their thoughts.
Dealing with threats at school together
The reality of threats at school is deeply troubling, and as parents, it’s easy to feel helpless when our children are in danger. However, we have the power to provide them with the emotional tools they need to cope with these stressors. By having open conversations, practicing cognitive reframing, and helping them lean into their faith, we can empower our children to face these difficult situations with resilience.
While school safety remains a collective effort, our role as parents in guiding our children through these difficult moments is irreplaceable. Together, we can ensure they are emotionally equipped to deal with their fears and remain focused on learning and growing in a world that often feels uncertain. By leading with compassion, communication, and care, we can help our children navigate these difficult times, always reminding them that they are never alone.
