We had walked over the dunes behind my house and onto the quiet, mostly private beach that hugged Chesapeake Bay and protected us from the occasional storm. As usual, there was a cool, thick mist that blew gently over my face. It limited our view in a way that was strangely relaxing. There was no sound except a subtle splash of water. The natural aesthetic was unparalleled and it felt like we were walking into a desktop screensaver.
“Are you sure we won’t get lost in this fog?” She said with a nervous laugh and turned to me.
“No, I do this walk all the time,” I reassured her. Then she reached out her hand with a smile and said, “Okay, fine, I can still see my hand.” We had a blast. This beach was always so relaxing and we were both too stressed about school. Feeling the sand on our bare feet and enjoying the calming mist did wonders.
Years later, I walked the same foggy beaches after a back injury, feeling down and wondering why my recovery was taking so long, and why the universe had attacked me with this disease. These beaches healed my mind and took my thoughts to happier places.
Even today, decades later, I get a wave of nostalgia when I see fog. I don’t get much of it here in Florida, but when I do, usually in the morning, you’ll find me on my couch, looking out the window and wistful about days gone by.
Psychologists classify nostalgia as a social emotion, which is self-conscious and bittersweet, but above all positive. It often stems from a longing for the past and old relationships. Nostalgia is often caused by the senses. For example, every time I smell chlorine it makes me nostalgic for the summer I spent in swimming pools visiting my grandparents in Florida. I remember all the fun friendships and problems we encountered, and lounging at friends’ houses and playing video games.
Scientists view nostalgia as a complex cognitive emotion that uses many parts of the brain – also used in emotional regulation, reward processing, self-reflection and autobiographical memory. Intentional nostalgia is being studied and shown to improve friendships, motivation, and lower cortisol.
From a study by Dr. Wijnand at King’s College London showed that bad weather can trigger nostalgia, which is true in my case – although I now consider fog to be good weather because of what it does for me. Bad weather often causes more stress, leading to more nostalgic thoughts as a coping mechanism. We often do it without even realizing it.
Another study found that nostalgic exercises can strengthen the bond between two people. The simple act of sending them a message or calling them and talking about stories from the past can strengthen the human connection that is so central to well-being.
You can evoke nostalgia in different ways. First, the obvious and simple way is to reflect on those moments and have a mental Rolodex of valuable memories. The other is to use your senses. Researchers discovered that scents that evoke nostalgia are particularly effective against stress. Be careful. In my case, sniffing chlorine would not be advisable. But when you go to a swimming pool, this often happens anyway. I recently walked past a house and caught the smell of chlorine bleach being used to clean a driveway. It felt like I was at a swimming meet again.
Psychologist Dr. Clay Routledge claims that team-oriented activities around building nostalgia can promote friendships and teamwork. It offers even more meaning, which drives people to pursue important goals that they have lost focus on.
My classmates in graduate school and I were on an academic team for two years and became very close. We still keep in touch and talk about the old days, and have periodic zoom calls to see how the others are doing. I never leave that phone call feeling worse than before. I often feel strengthened and ready to do things.
Because nostalgia is anchored in relationships, it tends to drive people to pursue more socially oriented goals and prosocial behaviors, such as making friends, volunteering, and being more positive. These are all correlated with higher levels of satisfaction.
If you’re having trouble coming up with nostalgic memories, try focusing on your life between the ages of 16 and 25 (give or take). This is often a common source of nostalgia and is known to scientists as the ‘memory bump’. Perhaps this is why so many people think music peaked during their high school years.
Having family photos helps too. One of the best decisions I ever made was to have all our photos scanned so I could look back at them and not have to worry about them being destroyed (all our childhood home movies were destroyed in an accident and I I’m still not over it).
For example, I was just doing this nostalgia exercise and found an important photo. This is with my grandfather and it may not seem that important:
The photo reminds me of our road trips from Florida to Virginia and back, which happened several times a year. Airline tickets were more expensive then and we were short on cash. We endured these 12 hour drives, but also had fun talking and listening to audiobooks (which required 12 cassettes). We played street games and drew up treasure hunts. I made drawings. Shannon and I inevitably fell asleep and woke up from heavy naps at gas stations.
Looking back on these little moments reminds me of how wonderful my grandparents were and how good my childhood was, despite the adversity I endured. My grandfather passed away two years ago at the age of 97, so these photos are important in preserving his memory and remembering these stories.
I also have my deceased dog’s name tag in a box. When I look at it I tend to smile and think of all the funny and quirky things he did. It’s certainly somber, but it reminds me of how much fun and laughter I’ve had.
To summarize: consider making a real list of nostalgic memories. Think of sensory experiences and people that evoke this nostalgia. Look at objects and family photos. Sometimes I send these photos in a group message to old friends (who were in the photo) and ask if they remember. In general I get enthusiastic responses and we talk about getting together again. It strengthens our friendship.
Take the time to look back. Your past doesn’t have to be this ghostly hallway of mirrors. It’s a great psychological resource and a healthy way to manage stress, improve friendships and stay more motivated. Overall, sandwiched between all the chaos of life, there are plenty of great moments waiting to be revisited. You will be better off for it.
I’m a former financial analyst turned writer from Tampa, Florida. I write story-driven content to help us live better and maximize our potential.
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