Halfway through our Trafalgar Costa Rica Nature Adventure tour, my ten-year-old daughter woke up, looked at me and said, “I think this is the longest I’ve ever gone without interacting with other kids.” She seemed more curious than angry at the thought of being the only child in this wandering community of adults, ranging from their late twenties to late seventies.
As the only child on our tour of Costa Rica, my daughter Vivi had easily found her place among the adults in our group, so much so that I hadn’t thought about how strange it must have been for a child who, even during a deep pandemic, She had always been surrounded by siblings and cousins, only to suddenly find herself in the adult world 24/7. When I asked her about it, she thought for a moment and then said, “I think it’s cool. It’s a bit strange that there are no other children around, but everyone is very nice and we do so many fun things.”
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Originally, I had no intention of taking a 10 year old on an adult tour to Costa Rica. We had been planning a big adventure for years, just the two of us, and knew that Costa Rica, with its amazing wildlife, would be just the right choice. We had signed up for Trafalgar’s Monkeys, Jungles and Volcanoes family tour, but when the tour date was canceled we turned around and signed up for the company’s adult-oriented tour. She was so excited about the chance to see sloths that she didn’t hesitate to say yes to this plan, even though it meant she might be the only child on the tour.
And she was. At dinner the first night, as everyone walked around and introduced themselves, I noticed people watching her curiously as she waited her turn to speak. After dinner, people came up to say hello, first to her and then to me.
On the second day I could see that there was a special magic in this tour dynamic. Not only was it a great group that included newlyweds, State Department retirees and a few twenty-something cousins who won the Wheel of Fortune trip, but Vivi’s presence also brought together the grandparents and prospective grandparents in the group upstairs (there were many), who would easily weave Vivi into conversations and who I could tell was keeping a gently protective eye on her as we all made our way through Costa Rica, in and out small boat hopping, ziplining and hiking, and swimming.
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For me it quickly started to feel like traveling with a big family. By the second day – when most people were still learning each other’s names – everyone already knew Vivi’s, and she knew theirs. The evenings were sweltering and many people in the group met after dinner by the hotel pool, always receiving invitations to join in (I went too). After Vivi briefly broke down after doing some incredibly good sport ziplining for two hours through the pouring rain in the Monteverde Cloud Forest, our fellow traveler Marg sang a funny call-and-response song as we walked – it was just what Vivi needed at the time, and as a single parent it was also great for me to feel like I had backup if I needed it (which I did at the time).
Are you thinking about taking your child on a tour that is mainly for adults? Here’s what you need to consider.
Make sure it’s the right tour
It’s always a good idea to make sure your child is actually interested in the destination you’re going to, but it’s especially important if you’re considering a non-family-specific tour.
The Costa Rica tour was a total home run for us because my daughter is obsessed with wildlife and loves nature photography. The same was true for most of the tour group, giving us all a shared natural language and making it easy for us all to participate, whether we were 10 or 70.
Know your child
Being the only child on an adults-only tour won’t work for every child. Being on tour with mostly adults means there is less time to run around and play, more time to sit and listen, and sometimes activities that are much more aimed at adults than children.
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But it can be great for older children who enjoy being around adults and for people with longer attention spans. “Everyone is so nice to me and makes me feel included,” Vivi noted as she fell asleep one night.
If you can, find a guide with experience guiding families
Our guide, Victor, not only guided Trafalgar’s Costa Rica Nature Adventure, but also the company’s Monkeys, Jungles and Volcanoes family tour. From day one I could see the ways in which he engaged Vivi, while also doing an exemplary job of tailoring the tour to adults – a clear sign of a guide who knows how to lead a family tour.
It’s not always possible to know the guide in advance, but during the booking process you can often ask the tour company about the guides – and guides who work with families often have a little extra magic that’s worth seeking out if you are traveling with children.
Bring the tools you need to help your child succeed
As a child, my daughter’s needs were a little different than those of the adults we traveled with, so to make our trip go smoothly, we worked together in advance to make sure we brought the things that would get her through moments that were more difficult for her.
That meant we arrived with two quart bags filled with almonds, trail mix bars, dried fruit, and other easy snacks she could eat whenever she needed them (she’s prone to hangovers).
A camera was another tool that kept my ten-year-old engaged for longer. Especially on longer boat trips and wildlife walks, having a camera in hand meant she was doing something other than just sitting or walking. She framed scenes in her head, zoomed in on wildlife and composed photographs.
My best move of the entire trip was to download an audiobook that we listened to together on the longer travel days. It gave us something to look forward to and made the time pass more quickly as we were both hooked on the story (it was the second book in Megan Whalen Turner’s “The Thief” series).
Since it was hot in Costa Rica, we also made sure her swimsuit was always ready to go, because there’s no reset like a dip in a cool pool before dinner to recover after a long day .
Remember, they are young
There were moments—for example, after an hour of talking about the history of the Monteverde Cloud Forest or two hours after a long bus ride—when I saw Vivi getting a little worried. When I asked her about it later, she said, “Sometimes I stand back a little, but overall it was interesting,” which told me that the problem wasn’t so much the activity, but rather that she doesn’t have an adult attention span because she was a child.
Remembering that she was a child and not a small adult, and also wanting to show respect for the adults in the group who were still fascinated by the history discussion, I looked for a middle ground. Sometimes that meant giving Vivi a napkin and a pen so she could draw on those long bus rides, letting her play a video game longer, or handing over the camera and letting her wander around taking pictures. And of course, she made sure she got pool time every day to gain some energy and cool down.
Even though it wasn’t a tour aimed at children, we would both do it again. Because it was a guided trip, we had the opportunity to learn together, knowing that the details were taken care of and that we could focus on the experience of being together and seeing this special place for the first time.
I took my child on a tour that was mainly for adults. Here’s Why I’d Do It Again, originally appeared on FamilyVacationist.com.
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The views and opinions expressed in this column are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of USA TODAY. FamilyVacationist.com and TourScoop.com are owned and operated by Vacationist Media LLC. Using the FamilyVacationist travel recommendation methodology, we review and select family vacation ideas, family vacation spots, all-inclusive family resorts and classic family vacations for all ages. TourScoop includes guided group tours and tour operators, tour operator reviews, itinerary reviews, and travel gear recommendations.
This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: What it’s like to take your child on an adults-only tour of Costa Rica
