For American army veteran Ryan Timmermans, Memorial Day is a Monday like any other. He doesn’t need a holiday to remember his friends and colleagues who are no longer there. Thoughts of that still haunt him every day.
In 2012, while stationed in Afghanistan, a back injury kept him on base during a mission. Another soldier went in his place. Within a few hours, Timmermans heard that the group had been hit by a roadside bomb. The explosion was so large that their vehicle vaporized. No one survived.
“I was hollow,” he said, describing the survivor’s guilt that ripped through him. “That was my place to die.”
Memorial Day falls on May 27 this year. Timmermans admits that he had not known it was coming. It’s a strange subject for him. He thinks the significance of the day is widely misunderstood.
“I’ll give you one example: ‘Happy Memorial Day!'” he said, imitating the greeting. “Is it happy?”
Memorial Day was declared a national holiday by Congress in 1971, to be observed annually on the last Monday in May, according to the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs.
Despite this being the holiday’s 53rd year, new survey data from the United Services Automobile Association shows that fewer than half of American adults (46%) understand its meaning.
Ed Martinez, a U.S. Air Force veteran, says many people don’t recognize the gloom of the day and mix it with more festive holidays like Veterans Day and Armed Forces Day.
“Sometimes citizens confuse them, sometimes they thank you for your efforts on Memorial Day,” Martinez said.
While he appreciates the gesture, Martinez says the day is not about him.
“It is to honor the dead, not the living,” he said.
After his military retirement in 2006, Martinez became commander of the Veterans of Foreign Wars post O’Fallon, Illinois, and still serves as leader of the Guard of Honor. He participates in the annual Memorial Day ceremony.
Martinez says there are small things people can do if they want to honor those who are still here, like appreciating the country they live in. He says this is a gratifying thing for vets like him to see. He also hopes people will support veterans who are struggling.
“Depending on the conflict, more people die by suicide than in the actual conflict,” he said.
In 2021, research from Brown University found that 30,177 current and former military personnel died by suicide in the 20 years since September 11, compared to 7,057 who died in combat in the same 20 years.
Timmermans was almost one of them. When he returned from Afghanistan, two of his friends committed suicide. He says he was almost the third.
Timmermans remembers seeking help from the VA for his own suicidal thoughts in 2013. He waited months for his appointment to get a referral. Once he received his referral, he was told there would be a further three-month wait before he could appear for treatment.
What saved him was a call to return to Afghanistan days later, which he eagerly responded to. In his words, he had to get away again and – most importantly – get out of his head.
To this day, Timmermans finds comfort in being absorbed in his work. He is the founder and executive director of Veterans Off-Grid, a New Mexico-based nonprofit that builds sustainable homes for veterans in need of housing. For him, this is a continuation of his service.
“We took an oath not to leave anyone behind,” he said.
World War I American hospital discovered in France. Look at the find
Remains of a 17-year-old Korean War soldier who went missing 74 years ago
Smartphone app approved as a treatment for depression. 5 things you need to know about Rejoyn
