Dear Quentin,
I am considering a divorce. My husband inherited a few million dollars from his father when he passed away. Am I entitled to that if I decide to get a divorce? I live in Texas. He doesn’t share his bank account information, so I have no idea what I would be entitled to.
He forced me to apply for Social Security at 62. I am now 65 and have been receiving Social Security since I was 62½. I applied for my benefits early because my husband would never give me money to put into my account.
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We also have five rental properties. Two of them are inherited, but the rent goes into a joint checking account. Would I still get half the rent per month if I filed for divorce? It’s time for a new beginning.
Woman in Texas
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Dear woman,
If you file joint tax returns, you may be able to:
If the rental income from these properties went into a joint account, you probably had a lot of money at your disposal. I suspect that your reluctance to use that money eventually led you to rely on Social Security at age 62. Sometimes conditions are invisible, and if you felt forced or coerced into retirement, you might have felt like you were living under your husband’s rules. Access to those benefits gave you independence, even if it came at a price.
If that’s the case, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that you didn’t feel you had the same right to community property as your husband. I’m sorry that you lived a more modest lifestyle because your husband had a tight—or controlling—grip on your purse strings. And most of all, I’m sorry that this has eroded your self-confidence and happiness over the years and has affected how you feel about both your marriage and your place in the world.
That said, you made a decision, and hopefully it gave you the freedom and power to make different decisions, which is what got you to where you are today. If taking Social Security at 62, even if it meant lower payments, helped you figure out what you wanted to do with the rest of your life at 65, then it was worth it. Only you can decide, but financial control is a form of domestic violence, and if you raised your children and were a stay-at-home mom, it’s even worse.
To answer two of your financial and legal questions bluntly: No, you are not entitled to a share of your husband’s estate in the event of a divorce unless that money is in a joint bank account and the funds are commingled. And rental income from separate properties — that is, properties your husband purchased before your marriage — does not commingle those properties. The money in the joint account belongs to both of you, so talk to an attorney.
Applying for social security at age 62
You will receive 100% of your Social Security benefits at full retirement age, which is 67 for anyone born in 1960 or later, and you will receive a smaller amount if you file a claim anytime between 62 and 70. If you wait until you are 70, you will receive about 8% more per year. Some advisers say it could work out about the same whether you start receiving your benefits at 62 or 70 — it all depends on how long you live. However, you had other, more immediate considerations.
The financial argument suggests that people should delay their Social Security benefits as long as possible, especially if they are in good health. Virtually all U.S. workers ages 45 to 62 should wait until after age 65 to start receiving Social Security, according to this working paper from researchers at Boston University and the Federal Reserve Bank of Atlanta. More than 90% of people should wait until age 70, but only 10.2% appear to do so, they said.
To put that in context for your retirement: Taking Social Security early reduces household discretionary spending over their lifetime by $182,370 for the median worker nearing retirement, the paper concluded. “Optimizing would yield a 10.4% increase in lifetime spending for typical workers,” the researchers wrote. “For one in four, the gain in lifetime spending is more than 17%. For one in 10, the gain is more than 26%.”
Your situation is not unique. Nearly half of workers (47%) are retiring early, and many cite reasons more serious than yours, according to a report from the Employee Benefit Research Institute, a Washington-based nonprofit. Nearly a third cited a financial setback, such as a health issue or disability unrelated to COVID-19, while nearly a quarter said they retired because of changes at their company. About 38% said they could afford to retire early.
I wish you the best of luck with your new life, however you choose to shape it.
More columns by Quentin Fottrell:
‘We’re happily married, average gays’: We’re 58, make $160,000 and have $2.2 million saved. We grew up poor. Our families treat us like ATMs. Are we OK?
‘It’s the saddest thing’: I’m happily retired and my friends in their 60s want to know how I did it. Should I tell them my secret?
I am a veteran, 53, with 6 degrees and $245,000 in student loan debt. I plan to have my disability loans forgiven when I have $1 million. Is this immoral?
