July 3 – There was a time in Haywood County when most members of the gay, bisexual and transgender communities kept their orientation private, revealing their innermost selves only to a few close friends.
But one thing Saturday’s Pride on Main events showed: The period of silence and secrecy is over, at least for many in Western North Carolina.
At least 1,000 gay, lesbian, transgender, and transgender people, their families and supporters gathered at the Haywood County Courthouse for the start of Pride on Main Saturday, where the county’s two elected openly gay leaders — Waynesville Council Member Anthony Sutton and Clyde Board Member Amy Russell — addressed the group, along with Waynesville Mayor Pro Tem Chuck Dickson, before they walked down Main Street, Church and back to Frog Level for an afternoon of festivities.
People from Haywood and surrounding counties were willing, even eager, to talk about their emotions and experiences as members of the LGBTQ community, and to describe how the community had supported them and given them the confidence to talk openly about their identities.
Shelly Morris, in her late 60s, attended the parade with her partner. After moving to the county in December, she said the parade was a warm and accepting welcome from her new community.
“I feel embraced by everyone,” Morris said.
Going into the event, Morris said she kept her fingers crossed that people would be respectful. She said that after attending larger pride events, Haywood’s Pride on Main was a classy celebration and “just awesome.”
Regional and provincial appeal
Pride attendees came from all over the region, from Fines Creek to Canton to Maggie Valley.
Phyllis Kapsalis of Canton said she was happy to see all the supporters and is proud to be a Haywood resident.
Carol Larsen of Lake Junaluska said she was there to defend people’s right to choose who they love.
“The more we love each other, the better off we will be,” she said.
Spectator Michael Walker from Clyde looked on with pride as his wife, Sarah Bee, who helped organize the event, and their child took part in the parade.
Lauren Eakle, who moved to Maggie Valley four months ago, said she stumbled upon the event after discovering that Main Street was closed. She decided to stay.
“I came across this by accident, but I’m very touched that Haywood is supporting the LGBTQ community,” she said.
Proud of your birthplace
Some participants who grew up in Haywood never imagined they would one day be proud of the place they call home.
“I never thought I would be able to come, but I did, despite everything,” said Haywood resident Ali Cat.
She said that in the past she had to travel outside the region to Asheville to celebrate Pride events, and she felt that attending an event in Haywood was a great honor.
“I wanted to be here for the first Pride because I feel like it’s really historic for our city. I’m super excited,” Cat said.
Just arrived
Rob Weinlauf, a former Waynesville resident who now lives in Asheville, said it was special to attend the event and come to a place where he previously felt left out.
“When I lived here, I remember being nervous as a newcomer walking from place to place, not knowing if I would be welcomed, if people around me would be intolerant, or if I would have to worry about how I looked and if I would seem gay — if people would see it and have a problem with it,” Weinlauf said. “I would have felt very differently if there had been an event like this and I knew there was such a large, safe community. It’s special to know that it exists here and that we’re now showing it so boldly and fighting for the ability to do that.”
John Dolan moved to the area five years ago and noted how incredible the move was for a smaller community.
“I think it’s beautiful, I think the community has really come together and shown support for the gay community,” Dolan said. “It’s not just about the gay community, it’s about rights for everyone.”
In the crowd, dressed to the nines in rainbow attire, were Judy Ellis and her daughter Summer. Summer is deaf and had her mother translate her answers to questions about the parade.
Summer faces adversity in many ways and therefore wants to help people who are different.
“She’s very proud of her community and her gay and lesbian identity. And she loves people who support other people. Have you seen her shirt? ‘You be you,'” Judy said.
The mother-daughter duo live in Buncombe County and enjoyed seeing the surrounding communities celebrate Pride.
Expressions of support
Many people attended the parade and rally to support their family members, friends, and others who just needed someone to show they cared.
Meet the “Free Mom Hugs” moms, whose T-shirts offered a motherly hug to anyone who needed one. Amy Wilson said she borrowed the idea from a friend who lived out of town. When Wilson reached out to her local friends, they ordered T-shirts and set up a stand in Frog Level to offer lemonade with the hugs.
They did this, she said, because they realized that many people in the LGBTQ community are cut off from their families or don’t get love and support from their own family members.
“Someone whispered to me, ‘My mom still doesn’t know about this,’ as he hugged me,” Wilson said. “And he was about 45 (years old). Someone else said, ‘This is the confirmation my mom never gave me.'”
Others stepped off the route to hug each other and then burst into tears. One said her mother had been dead for more than 20 years.
“This is an expression of our faith, a belief that our God excludes no one,” said Wilson’s girlfriend, Allison Lee.
Members of the Haywood County Democratic Party also walked the parade route with a sign in support. Several businesses also drove their vehicles in the procession.
Churches on both sides
Grace in the Mountain Episcopal Church had a strong presence, carrying a banner to show support for the LGBTQ community. Emerging Faith, a faith community within the United Methodist Church, had a booth at Frog Level.
Others, however, were there not to support the Pride on Main lifestyle, but to encourage them to change their hearts and their ways. Wesley Stephens, outreach pastor at Barberville Baptist Church, followed at the very end of the procession, carrying a banner that read, “Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life.” He was accompanied by a younger churchgoer, Cody Lindsay, who pulled his sign in a wagon, a sign that quoted John 3:3.
Eli Long, a self-employed Haywood resident, arrived early to claim a spot directly across from the courthouse for the pride rally. There he stood with a sandwich board that read “What is a Christian” on one side and “Whoever commits sin is a slave to sin” on the other.
It is a message of love and a warning, as he saw it.
“Suppose someone was walking toward a broken bridge and you knew the bridge was broken, wouldn’t you stop that person and tell them the bridge was broken?” he asked.
Even among the three men, all committed to encouraging Pride participants to change course, there was a lack of consensus. When Long tried to stand with the other two, Stephens told him that the reference to “slave to sin” was too confrontational, that they were not there to cause trouble, and asked him to move on.
“If you stay, you can’t bear this with us any longer,” he said.
“Okay, but you’re sending the message that we’re not working together,” Long said.
Reporters Vicki Hyatt, Brionna Dallara and Kathy Ross contributed to this story.
