Frustrated singles are breaking up on dating apps.
Last year, Americans downloaded dating apps more than 36 million times, a 16% decline from 2020.
“The way people use dating apps today and the speed of communication. It’s swipe, swipe, swipe, get to the date. Ghost, get frustrated, get burned out. Wash, rinse and repeat,” said dating coach Damona Hoffman, who is also the author of “F the Fairytale.”
According to Hoffman, more and more of her clients are suffering from what she calls “dating app burnout,” the stress and fatigue from endless swiping.
She said she sees too much “zombie dating,” a term she coined to describe the behavior she sees online. dating appsShe defines it as mindless scrolling, searching for validation and no meaningful connection, and talking to too many people.
“A lot of these DMs and texts don’t go anywhere. That really leads to dating burnout because we get our hopes up. Our adrenaline goes up and then it’s like withdrawal when the person doesn’t show up for a date.”
Hoffman met her husband online and knows firsthand how frustrating it can be. But she says the goal is to connect and users need to show more empathy.
“We feel this sense of, I call it the communication crisis that we’re in, and you feel it even when you’re not dating. You feel this ‘everybody’s talking, but we’re not saying anything.'”
She advises practicing “dating hygiene,” which means being strategic with your time, eliminating connections that go nowhere, and monitoring your dating app profile by monitoring comments and replies.
“Which dates and conversations actually lead to something real, so that you don’t put all your energy into relationships that don’t initially make you feel good, or that don’t lead to a relationship.”
Hoffman, who also hosts a podcast called “Dates and Mates,” advises talking to the person on the app for a week before meeting them in person.
“The point of dating apps is to meet in person. What happens if you stay on the app too long and fall into the texting trap? You develop a false sense of intimacy.”
Hoffman said she wants to help people take more control of their future in the dating world. As a professional who has been helping people find love, both online and offline, for nearly 20 years, she disagrees with the adage that “love comes when you least expect it.”
“When people approach dating in a conscious and strategic way, they get results,” she said. “They get into relationships.”
If you’re tired of swiping, she suggests attending events and giving it a try speed datingrent a matchmaker or connect with your community.
The CEO of Match Group, the company that owns Tinder, OkCupid, Hinge and Match.com, said late last year that the company is “optimistic about the future” and that he expects the number of paying users it “moderates” will decline.
