Mourning a celebrity is a normal reaction to the loss of someone you were close to. And when a public figure dies, it’s not just friends and family who suffer: we grieve collectively, which is what happens when a community experiences a loss together.
Why do celebrity deaths feel personal?
The answer is simple: because celebrity relationships are personal, even though many think they are not.
It’s the reality of parasocial relationships, psychiatrist Dr. Tracey Marks to HuffPost after Kobe Bryant’s death. “The ability to feel attached or connected to someone has more to do with having some kind of contact with that person, even if it is a one-sided contact… ‘one-sided’ means that you see the person, and then If there’s something about them that you can relate to, you can feel like it’s someone like you,” she said.
In the case where a fan of a specific show or sports team religiously watches episodes of that show or games on TV at home, the person he is a fan of may be in his living room more often than some close friends. Exposure to that public figure on social media also contributes to that perceived closeness.
“[You’re] not just by seeing them on television, but also by reading their tweets and seeing their posts on Instagram,” she said. All those little contacts contribute to the feeling that you can now have a close bond with them.
When celebrities have enjoyed long-term success, this feeling can be heightened.
“Even though we didn’t know them personally, their presence is still felt in our lives,” Rachel O’Neill, PhD, a clinical consultant in Ohio, told Teen Vogue. “For example, they starred in a TV show you watched growing up. In those cases, death can feel like a loss of that specific part of your past.”
Grief over these popular figures is also difficult to avoid as the grieving process plays out on social media through various posts from news media, family, friends and fans paying tribute to the lost person. Samita Nandydirector of the Center for Media and Celebrity Studies, previously told Yahoo Life. “There’s a level of intensity that wasn’t there before,” she said.
Leaving a legacy
The work a celebrity has created during their lifetime plays a role in how they are perceived and even how they mourn when they are gone.
First, the content gives fans the opportunity to re-watch their shows, movies or other contributions and continue to feel connected to them. “Whatever they did, it’s there and you can still enjoy it, you can still consume it,” Marks said.
But also because their celebrity identity can lead them to be associated with a cause much bigger than themselves, or to represent a larger movement or group of people.
For example, the loss of actor Angus Cloud “could feel like a loss of representation” for Gen Zers who saw themselves in him, said Colette Sachs, associate therapist at Manhattan Wellness. The same can be said for Payne, who rose to fame after getting started X factor as a teenager and becoming part of One Direction.
Matthew Perry’s openness about living with addiction and the advocacy work he did in the space similarly contribute to the grief felt around his death, as it has aligned him with millions of other Americans experiencing similar issues .
“The person represents an era, an icon or a movement,” Marks said. “You can think about the good they brought into this world.”
How it affects daily practice
Although we think of celebrities as invincible in many cases, coming to terms with their mortality is a shock. But it also reminds people of what can happen in their own lives.
“Things like this happening remind us that we are all vulnerable to these types of losses,” Marks said.
For some people, the death of a beloved public figure can also be their first experience with loss.
“We’re not taught how to grieve or how to cope when death happens, not just in the case of celebrities, but in general,” Nandy said. “So it depends on where the viewer comes from. If a grandfather or grandmother has already died, there is a good chance that that person will come with that knowledge.”
Dr. Neeraj Gandotra, chief medical officer at Delphi Behavioral Health Group, told Teen Vogue that discussing celebrity deaths can also be a good way to broach the difficult subject with family and friends.
“Use the feelings of loss as an opportunity to potentially have a more academic discussion about what happens when someone dies. This discussion can be very clinical and help prepare for a discussion when someone close to you dies,” he said. “Examining one’s own mortality and the mortality of loved ones is healthy and a great opportunity to take stock of your life, find areas where you can improve yourself and even change the direction of your life for the better.”
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