A local woman recalled celebrating the Christmas holidays with her husband: the festivities, the food and the joy of remembering the birth of Jesus.
This year, Karla Sutherland celebrated the holiday not with her beloved husband Matt, but with a group of other widows and widowers who gathered for the Living Information For Today holiday gathering and cookie exchange.
Sutherland, 58, said she welcomed the opportunity to gather with others who are mourning the loss of their spouses as her husband passed away 18 months ago.
“We were together for 30 years and we worked together too – it feels like half of you are lost,” she said.
“I’ve lived in grief, so it’s good to have a group with people at different stages (of the grieving process).”
Cookies and other treats fill a table during the Living Information For Today holiday gathering and cookie exchange.
Andrea Hurst and Ann Gainous said the Living Information For Today group, also called LIFT, is sponsored by Memorial Park Funeral Home and Cemetery through Dignity Memorial, a funeral home and cemetery service provider.
Dignity Memorial’s two family counselors said Dignity Memorial already offers similar support groups in other states that provide emotional support and companionship to people who have lost a spouse. Hurst said she and Gainous were thrilled to start a LIFT group in the Oklahoma City area this year.
The group meets once a month at the Memorial Park Chapel, 13400 N Kelley, and the December meeting was filled with all the usual Christmas carols, a visit from Santa, an ugly sweater contest, a cookie exchange and hot chocolate. The evening ended with a Christmas bang as the group boarded waiting limousines that whisked them away to see the Christmas lights.
Healing through community
Like Sutherland, Roxi Hatfield and Regina Loper-Spears said they found comfort and camaraderie when they gathered with others who have experienced the loss of a spouse.
Hatfield, 75, said her husband Mark died in June and she has been coming to the meetings since they started in September. She said he was ill for about nine years before his death. The LIFT meetings have brought new people into her life.
“I enjoy it because it allows me to get out of the house and meet new people,” she said. “I could sit at home and get depressed if I let myself.”
Loper-Spears, 69, said she is grieving the loss of her husband Ken and has become part of the LIFT group because other attendees understand how she feels.
Karla Sutherland puts her food on the table during the LIFT holiday gathering and cookie exchange.
“We share a lot of experiences,” she says. “We discuss various issues related to suddenly feeling lonely due to the loss of someone.”
Gainous said several issues related to loss and grief were discussed during the support group meetings. Each activity also includes some fun activities and an opportunity for participants to get to know each other and talk.
She and Hurst said the monthly LIFT meetings are not limited to Dignity Memorial families because anyone who has lost a spouse can join.
And Gainous said the January gathering promises to be a musical treat: an Elvis impersonator.
For more information
For more information about the Living Information For Today group, email Andrea Hurst at Andrea.Hurst@dignitymemorial.com.
This article originally appeared on Oklahoman: Oklahomans find solace and friendship in a group for widows/widowers
