Melania Trump describes in her new memoir how she forced her husband, then-President Donald Trump, to drop a characteristically harsh immigration policy that separated migrant children from their parents, causing a domestic and international uproar.
“This has to stop,” the former first lady told her husband, “highlighting the trauma it caused these families” and watching him quickly comply, ending the policy on June 20, 2018.
Related: Melania Trump passionately defends abortion rights in her upcoming memoir
It’s not the only disagreement between spouses revealed in the memoir Melania, which will be published in the US next week. The Guardian has obtained a copy.
Melania Trump is also waging a passionate defense of abortion rights, significantly weakened by a Supreme Court to which her husband appointed three hardline justices, and under further attack as he runs for the White House again.
Like abortion and reproductive rights, immigration is a hot topic in the campaign that will culminate on November 5, when Americans will elect Trump or Kamala Harris, the Democratic candidate, as president for the next four years.
“Occasionally political disagreements between me and my husband were part of our relationship,” Melania Trump writes, “but I believed in addressing them privately rather than challenging him publicly. I found our discussions more productive when we could have a quiet dialogue at home, away from the public eye.”
She writes about her concerns about immigration: “Given my past experiences with unfair media stories, I always approached the news with some skepticism. Before discussing the border crisis with him, I thoroughly informed myself about the situation.”
Reports of children being “held in overcrowded detention centers and in absolute squalor…raised serious questions about their health and well-being. The lack of a clear plan for reuniting families and the absence of a definitive policy on these separations have only increased public outrage. I had a strong feeling that the situation required urgent attention and action.”
Describing the approach of a husband “whose tough stance on immigration was well known,” Trump writes: “I sympathize with anyone who wants to find a better life in this country. As an immigrant, I fully understand the necessary but difficult process of becoming a legal American.”
Trump was born in Slovenia and became a US citizen in July 2006, eight years after meeting Donald Trump and shortly after the birth of their son Barron. That same month, Donald Trump had the sexual encounter with adult film star Stormy Daniels, which resulted in his 34 felony convictions related to hush money payments.
Melania does not discuss that scandal in her book. On the separation of children, she continues: “While I support strong borders, what happened at the border was simply unacceptable. I immediately discussed with Donald my deep concerns about family separation, emphasizing the trauma it was causing these families. As a mother, I emphasized: ‘The government should not take children away from their parents.’ I communicated very clearly… ‘This has to stop.’
“Donald assured me he would look into the matter, and on June 20 he announced the end of the family separation policy.”
The first lady’s intervention was reported at the time. Also widely reported was an incident that occurred when she herself visited the southern border.
A first visit left her thinking that “the root cause” of family separations “was not the government, but rather the dangerous influence of criminal cartels in their home countries.”
But when she made a second trip to meet desperate migrant children, she caused controversy by traveling in a jacket with the slogan: “I really don’t care, do you?” that many found insensitive at best and callous at worst.
On the page, Trump says the message, which she calls “discreet yet impactful,” was intended as a protest against anonymous reporting.
“I was determined… not to let the media’s false narratives influence my mission to help the children and families at the border,” she wrote. “I even decided to let them know that their criticism would never stop me from doing what I believe is right. To drive home the point, I was wearing a particular jacket when I boarded the plane, a jacket that quickly became famous.
“As the plane door closed, my press secretary’s inbox was flooded with urgent emails from leading media outlets about the jacket… ‘It’s a message to the media,’ I said, ‘to let them know that I didn’t worry about their opinions of me’ [but] she told me I couldn’t say that. ‘Why not? It’s the truth.’ I disagreed with her insistence that I couldn’t say that. She ignored my comments and told a CNN reporter she was friends with that it was just a jacket, a fashion choice with no underlying message.
Trump says the ensuing outcry “overshadowed the best interests of the children, the border and the policy change” and was “just another example of the media’s irresponsible behavior.”
Related: Stephanie Grisham: Trump defector who may be most damaging yet
But the press secretary she blames for communicating “misinformation” about the jacket, Stephanie Grisham, wrote in her own book that when the two women returned to Washington, DC, they were ripped off by the president. Contradicting Melania’s claim that she wore the jacket to target the media, Grisham says Donald Trump came up with the idea and shouted, “Tell them you were talking to the damn press.”
Recent reporting suggests another motive on Melania’s behalf. According to New York Times reporter Katie Rogers, the episode was part of a four-year “internal power struggle” between Melania Trump and Ivanka Trump, Donald Trump’s daughter and senior adviser.
As described by Rogers, Melania and Ivanka were “embroiled in a silent battle for press coverage,” prompting the first lady to reject any “mention of her name in the press…[ing] Twitter to see what the press, her critics, and her supporters were saying about her” – and then to look for ways to increase such coverage.
