May 17—In an emotional ceremony, grieving residents released butterflies this week at HSHS St. Anthony’s Memorial Hospital to honor, remember and celebrate the lives of deceased loved ones.
HSHS Hospice held its annual ceremony in Effingham Thursday afternoon at the HSHS St. Anthony’s Memorial Hospital Healing Garden.
Ceremony organizer Valerie Engelbart, supervisor of HSHS Hospice Bereavement Services, said this is the ninth year the ceremony has been held by HSHS Hospice, which is celebrating its 10th anniversary. HSHS Hospice serves approximately 1,500 hospice patients annually.
“Our territory has grown for hospice. We now cover 37 counties,” Engelbart said. “Initially, when our hospice started, it was just a way to give back to the community and see how we tied it all together as people grieved.”
A total of 75 butterflies have been released into the Healing Garden. Since its inception, the number of visitors to the ceremony has continued to increase every year. Engelbart noted that the butterfly release ceremony now involves all nine ministries of the Illinois Division of HSHS and that attendees have driven as long as two hours to participate.
“They are invited to come back every year if they wish, and we will continue to mention their names over and over again for as long as they want or need,” she said.
Although the ceremony is hosted by HSHS Hospice, it is not reserved just for the family and friends of deceased hospice patients. Engelbart encourages anyone who has lost a loved one to participate in future ceremonies.
“When you lose someone to cancer or an accident, you get sympathy, but sometimes when we lose them through maybe their own choices and stuff, we still grieve. But we can’t be so open about it,” Engelbart said. “This gives them an opportunity to avoid that stigma.”
Engelbart said the butterfly release ceremony reminds her not to take things for granted and to appreciate every day of her life. She also asserted that while there’s nothing wrong with being sad, especially if you’re overcome with sadness, it’s also okay to think about positive memories.
“It’s probably one of the most powerful pieces for what I do,” she said of the ceremony. ‘We don’t have to think about it. We don’t have to hide it.’
Prior to the release, a service was held in the hospital chapel. HSHS Hospice Chaplain Krista Stokke gave a blessing.
“May the sweet light of change shine in the darkness. May your first breath every morning begin life anew.
“May the memories of your loved one’s death unfold as prayers for life, and may love continue to fill the silence,” Stokke said.
Stokke also discussed the symbolic connection between the slow metamorphosis of butterflies and the “exhausting” grieving process, saying that while grieving is difficult, it can ultimately lead to positive transformation and the relief of the pain caused by one’s loss.
“The butterfly has clearly evolved into a symbol of renewal because of its impressive journey of metamorphosis,” she said. “We have toiled and sweated. And we have cocooned ourselves and waited patiently like a chrysalis to one day emerge as a new and different personality.”
Among those releasing butterflies was Jim Dial of Effingham, who along with his son, Tom Dial of Effingham, participated in the ceremony honoring and remembering his granddaughter, Lilian Dial, daughter Theresa Dial Myers, and his wife, Rita Dial, who just died. months before the ceremony.
“I just lost her in December, so it’s still pretty raw,” Jim Dial said of his late wife. “It’s the first one I’ve ever been to. It’s emotional”
While he still mourns the loss of his wife, Jim Dial can also look back on his 66-year marriage to his high school sweetheart with a smile and a witty sense of humor.
“I joined the Navy to get rid of her, but I ended up marrying her,” Jim Dial joked.
“She just chased him and chased him,” Tom Dial joked.
Another attendee, Martha White of Neoga, attended the ceremony with her friend of about 20 years, Jane Swank of Effingham.
“I loved it. I loved it,” Martha White said of the ceremony.
Martha White was there to remember and celebrate the life of her late husband, Ralph White, who died on March 15, the same day as Martha White’s birthday. She said the timing of her husband’s death allowed for a “beautiful” last moment with him.
“He always sent me a beautiful bouquet of flowers, so my daughter told him the night before that she would order the flowers for my birthday and bring them the next day,” she said.
When Martha White’s daughter came to visit the next day, she gave the flowers to her mother and sang her happy birthday with Martha White’s son. It was at this moment that Ralph White seemed to respond, despite being unable to move for quite some time.
“He moved his head like he was trying to say something, but he couldn’t, and he took three or four more breaths and then he died,” Martha White said. “He waited for me to get my flowers. It was wonderful.”
Martha White said participating in the butterfly release ceremony felt like a fitting way to honor her late husband because he was a “model airplane enthusiast.”
“Anything that flies would be great,” she said.
Furthermore, both Martha White and Swank remember Ralph White as a man who enjoyed life and always had a joke to tell.
“He was full of life,” Martha White said.
“And that’s why we enjoyed him,” Swank said. “He was funny. The punch line was always there.”
Nick Taylor can be reached at nick.taylor@effinghamdailynews.com or by phone at 618-510-9226 or 217-347-7151 ext. 300132.
