(EDITOR’S NOTE: This story contains a discussion of suicide. If you or someone you know needs help, you can reach the National Suicide and Crisis Hotline in the US by calling or texting 988. There is also an online chat at 988lifeline.org.)
DUBLIN, Ohio – Dozens of players gathered Tuesday for a solemn celebration of the life of Grayson Murray, the PGA Tour winner who left behind battles with alcoholism and depression to end his life a day after withdrawing from a tournament made his life.
“All of us on the PGA Tour have heavy hearts and will continue to do so for a long time,” said PGA Tour Commissioner Jay Monahan, his voice occasionally cracking. “When you lose a family member, you can never put all the pieces back together.”
Murray’s parents, two siblings and fiancée were not at Memorial Park, a garden located beneath the first tee of Muirfield Village, whose rock walls are filled with bronze plaques of players honored at the Memorial over the years.
Next to the podium was Murray’s golf bag, along with a large framed photo of his reaction to making a 40-foot birdie in a play-off to win the Sony Open in January.
Are parents said he died by suicide on May 25, a day after he left the course at Colonial with two holes remaining in the second round of the Charles Schwab Challenge.
Among those who spoke at the celebration was Masters champion Scottie Scheffler, who got to know Murray better early this year, when Murray tried to get his fiancée more involved with some of the players’ wives.
They played a nine-hole practice round at The Players Championship, Murray and Chesson Hadley against Scheffler and Sam Burns.
“The look on his face when I gave him $100 on the ninth green is something I will remember for a long time because you couldn’t wipe that smile off his face,” Scheffler said. “Without a doubt, he loved being here between the ropes.”
Scheffler called him a “sweet man” more than once, and he cried as he walked away from the stage and then buried his head in his wife’s shoulder.
Murray’s death was a shock to players, caddies and everyone involved with the tour. He was a prodigious talent as a junior, winning the Barbasol Championship in Kentucky as a rookie and struggling with alcoholism, tour discipline and anxiety. He spoke at the Sony Open about feeling like a failure for not living up to expectations.
Webb Simpson, who first met 8-year-old Murray in their home state of North Carolina, is not at the Memorial this year. He let another close friend, Russell Henley, read his thoughts.
Jay Green, who started caddying for him the week of the Sony Open, said he hoped to buy a Rolex watch if they had a good year. Murray won the Sony Open and bought a Rolex.
For Monahan, Murray’s death was personal.
This week marks one year since the PGA Tour struck a secretive and shocking deal with the Saudi sponsors of LIV Golf, and Murray took center stage on the afternoon of June 6 at a players meeting to question Monahan for making the deal and hadn’t told anyone.
Monahan stepped away a week later for more than a month with anxiety-induced physical and mental problems. During that time he was away, Monahan turned off his cell phone for a month.
“We had a players meeting in Canada that you all know was intense and heated. Grayson and others have been very vocal about their displeasure with my decision to retain membership. The criticism was 100% justified,” Monahan said.
He said when he finally turned his phone back on while on leave, one of the first text messages he saw was from Murray.
“One line in that text will always stick with me: ‘Jay, I just want you to get healthy. I know every effort is being made to benefit our tour,” Monahan said. “He did not express condemnation, but compassion. Instead of walking away from me, he offered to walk with me.
“I will always be grateful for this act of kindness, and I am not alone.”
Monahan said similar stories were shared Monday at a private service for Murray and his family.
Players filled the seats along with Memorial founder Jack Nicklaus and wife Barbara. Tour officials stood flanked on the left, while dozens of other players, caddies, equipment representatives and agents filled the court on the right. More than a hundred spectators watched from a hill above the garden as a bagpipe played “Amazing Grace” at the end.
“I can only assure that Grayson’s memory will serve as a constant reminder that the PGA Tour is a brotherhood that transcends competition,” Monahan said. “And our most important responsibility is to care for each other and be kind. I can’t imagine a prouder legacy.”
